Friday, August 29, 2008

Finding the Proverbial Mr. Big

This morning I check my daily Tarot card reading and this is the first part:

Beware of setting your sights too high in matters of the heart today, dear E. The pairing of the Fool and the Moon indicates that your hopes are sure to be dashed. You have a tendency to idealize the people you love, but reality will show you that you've invested too much in them or in your relationship. Which is why you're in danger of being disillusioned. Remember, nobody's perfect.

This is so true, when I really like someone I tend to make them out to be perfect and that they have no flaws. Or maybe it's that I'm blinded to them..... either way I look for only the good in them. This is how I think I have always been with Big and even for awhile with X. I know his flaws but I choose not to see him.

"And so, at last, the book has a real ending, in which Carrie and Mr. Big break up. It's a bittersweet ending - not just the end of Carrie's relationship with Mr. Big, but the end of her dream of finding the proverbial Mr. Big - a man who doesn't really exist. If you read closely, you'll discover that even Mr. Big himself points out that he is a fantasy in Carrie's imagination, and that you can't love a fantasy. And so we leave Carrie to enter a new phase in her life when she understands that she will have to find herself (without a man), and in doing so with hopefully be able to find a relationship"
(Bushnell, 2001).

I could not have said it better myself. So here I am, without a man, and finding myself once again. And you know what? It's a great thing! I can honestly say that I'm happy. I mean I have my highs and lows but overall I'm doing ok and I know I'm going to make it.
So to follow up yesterday the last message I got from Fire Guy said, "okay doll take care and ill call!" Will he really call? The exclamation point at the end leads me to believe that he may actually call. Only time will tell. But I'm ready for a new adventure.

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