Tuesday, August 5, 2008

What if....

So here I sit at my desk trying to pass the time away as I wait for the phone to ring and then an envelope pops up from my Outlook Express. I have mail! Now mind you this is my company email so I don't get to excited, but I click the tiny envelope on the bottom right of my screen and up pops this colorful invitation. TIKI TIME ~ you guessed it office get together. Now maybe I should say here that I have been at the new job oh for about 3 weeks now and this is technically my first week as a full time employee. So I don't really know many of my co-workers yet, at least not on a friendly enough basis to want to cookout and drink with them. But hell what better way to get to know them?
The invitation says my name and then those magic words follow it: and Guest. So as I read the invitation I wonder should I take a date? Some of my coworkers know that I am newly divorced so is it to soon to bring a date? I quickly email my girlfriends and they say yes that it would be ok if I take a date. Now who do I take? My mind quickly goes to Mr. Big and the girls once again all send responses saying that yes I should ask him. But I don't admit to them that I am scared to ask him.
All of our time spent together has been alone, in small groups, or in a crowded bar where noone knows we are together. But this would be taking him out in public and perhaps admiting my feelings for him. Feelings that I am still uncertain about. And all of this is based on if when I ask him his answer is yes. But what if he says no? As I am almost certain he would. Can I handle that rejection? Will it change things between us? And if so is that a risk I am ready and willing to take?

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