Monday, September 29, 2008

In the end do you save yourself?

I just got back from speaking to a lawyer regarding the affairs that X and I have remaining; i.e. the house. Perhaps I should back track (summed up version) X and I were engaged for nearly 3 years (after many years of dating), we finally found a house, purchased it, got married, and expected to live happily-ever-after. Needless to say we didn't. So now we have been divorced for some months but are still tied together, whether we like or not, by the house. The house has been up for sale for quite awhile now, but with the market the way it is of course it hasn't sold. Personally I would love to keep the house, after all as X himself has said, it has always been my house. But new job = pay cut = can't afford house on my own.

Well X did things that broke our divorce agreement but I wanted to keep up my end - even though he seemed to not care. Everyone has been giving me advice on my situation, and finally after much convincing from my mother, Vivi, Vixen, Blondie, and Giggles I have seeked legal advice. I hoped it would never come to this point. Stupid me hoped that X and I could walk away no hard feelings.

So now I am faced with a hard decision. Do I do what's right for me or what I believe to be the right thing for the situation I am in? In other words do I keep digging my whole deeper potentially costing me more in the long run because I think it's the right thing to do? Or bail off of a sinking ship? Obviously X has not looked out for my best interest or even considered it up to this point, so why do I feel like I should still consider his? After all the advice I know what I need to do, yet in my heart it's not what I want to do. But in the end it is the best thing for me. The decisions of being an adult are so hard. So many questions, so few answers. Apparently love really is blind.

“Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it."
~ Morton Hunt ~

1 comment:

phoebe said...

being an adult sucks. i hate it. i hope it works out better for you. haha :-)

on a serious note. you have to do what is best for you and only you... look out for numero uno. you. i learned that lesson a long time ago.