Unlike the years that have come and gone before I am not sad to see you go. Rather I am anxious for you to be gone, looking forward to when you will be just a distant memory. I don't mean to sound harsh but let's face it our 366 day spin around the earth has been complicated from the get go to say the least.
During your time in my life I lost friends that were to young to be called home to Heaven. I was awakened to the real qualities that had always existed behind the pretty front of the person that I had once seen as the love of my life. I ended the life I had known and become all to familiar with for the past seven years. I discovered a skeleton in my closet ~ feelings for which I thought no longer existed. I made mistakes. I was hurt, and I hurt others. My heart was broken, my life was turned upside down, and so many tears were shed over things that were not within my power to change.
But alas not all of our days were bad, were they? I have some fond memories, memories I will forever cherish of our time together. Days of laughter, times spent with close friends, adventures that made me feel young and alive. Yes, we did have some fun times.
Unfortunately though you will always be thought of as perhaps one of the worst years of my life thus far. At 11:59 p.m. tonight I will smile one last smile for you as I bid you farewell. For this next year I am determined to make good. With you I will leave my broken heart and the linger of empty promises. Thanks to you I am wiser and no longer will I allow myself to be won over by a sly smile and sugar coated words. You have helped to harden me to what can be a cruel world, but deep down the trusting hopeless romantic remains.
I have learned lessons that I know I needed to learn but at the same time I wish I never would have. You stole some of my naive -ness ~ weather that is good or bad I'm still trying to figure out.
I will not drag this out any longer, our time together painful enough. I do owe you a thank you, as hard as it is to admit, thank you for helping me to become me again and for teaching me that it is ok to put myself first every now and then. For that I will forever be grateful.