Friday, March 20, 2009

It's Time To Go

Last night I was looking forward to coming home and going to bed early. The late nights starting to catch up with me I was in dire need of a good nights sleep. Punk-Rock-Chick calls having BF issues and asks me if I will meet up with her for dinner and a beer. Ok it's 8 o'clock and having being used to going none stop my adrenaline is still pretty hi. I quickly shed my comfy sweats and pull on jeans and a t-shirt and am out the door in five minutes. As we sit at the table I sip on my beer and listen to her issues. The plan was to have a beer and go. Be at home and in the bed by 10. That was feasible. And then I feel two arms come around me from behind. From the smell of the cologne I know who it is; Marine1. I turn my head half way to see him smiling at me and JC standing to the side also smiling.

"Thought you weren't coming out tonight?" He asks.

"Well.... I wasn't planning on it," I reply with a grin.

Tonight is his last night home and by the looks of his athletic shorts and t-shirt just came from the gym look, it's obvious he wasn't planning on coming out either. "Figured one last beer with JC," he answers. The conversation continues for a minute then the two walk away and Punk-Rock-Chick and I return to our previous conversation. We finish our beers, pay the tab and prepare to leave. I walk down to where JC and Marine1 sit to tell them bye. "Come on you can't leave. Stay a little longer and hang out with us."

"Just a little longer," I consent. Punk-Rock-Chick smiles and says her goodbyes and once again it is the 3 of us. It's as if we have become the 3 amigos.

As the three of us sit there in conversation the first shot appears for Marine1. Anytime we go out in town we see people we know that want to buy him shots. Which is nice and all but Marine1 won't turn them down. You see where this is going. He does the shot with the new comer. But they don't stop there. It is getting later and more and more people are starting to trickle in. Before I know it JC and I are sitting at the corner of the bar shaking our heads and laughing as Marine1 does shots with the new found friends. At 10:30 I am ready to go. Past ready to go. But as I watch another shot of crown being handed to Marine1 I know that I need to stay and make sure he makes it home ok. Plus poor JC looks just as ready to leave as I do and I hate to leave him behind to hold down the corner by himself.

Me: "So how much longer before we can leave?"

JC: "Hell he should be ready to go before long. We'll take him to waffle house let him eat something to sober up then take him home."

Me: " I think this is the most I've seen him drink since he's been home. He is going to feel like crap in the morning."

JC: with a sigh "Yep."

An hour later JC and I are definitely ready to go.

JC: "Go tell him your ready to go he'll listen to you."

I roll my eyes at him before turning my back to approach Marine1.

Me: "You bout ready to go?"

Marine1: "Not just yet." His eyes are glazed over pretty good at this point and I can tell the crown is in full effect.

I look back over at JC who motions with his hand in a gesture I assume means keep trying. I sigh. Time to play dirty. Time to play the girly-bat-my-eyelashes-get-what-I-want card. I hate using this card and refrain from using it unless no other choice. I turn back to Marine1 tossing my head so my hair falls from behind my ear allowing my layers to hang just slightly over my right eye. I smile up at him and he wraps his arms around me in a hug. I hug him back and tilt my head slightly up to look at him. "Come on lets go home," I say this time with a more sugar coated tongue.

Marine1 not looking down at me but focusing on some distant point behind me, "Just a little longer."

He is quite taller than me and I stand on tiptoes now untangling my arms from his waist and reaching up to intertwine my fingers behind his neck. "Come on......" I can see his face softening. "Hey," I say softly but loud enough to be heard over the loud music, "Look at me."

"No," he replies squeezing me tightly but still looking over my head.

"Please look me in the eye....."

"Cause if I look at you I'll give in." He laughs glancing down for one brief second.

I laugh at his response and he shifts back a few steps to sit on a bar stool, never letting me go but pulling me with him. The expression on his face is softening and I can tell I'm starting to win. "Come on let's go home." I say this as if we are going home together. Yeah this is a cheap shot cause I am not going home with him. But at this point I know he won't remember so what ever works.
"Ok..." comes out and then out of left field comes this guy talking to Marine1 and handing him another shot. The softened look fades from Marine1's face and I can tell the battle has just been lost. I curse the guy under my breath and head back over to JC who is shaking his head and grinning having watched the whole episode.

JC: "You had him."

Me: "I know."
We sit there another 10 minutes and watch as Marine1 and Guy talk.

JC: "Ok new plan." he leans towards me conspiratorially, "I'll distract Guy you grab Marine1 and head for the car. I'll meet you there."

Me: "Why not other way around?"

JC: "Cause he doesn't care if I'm ready to go or not."

Me: "Touche." I pause, "Wait one minute." I wait for the bartender to look at me then motion him over and ask him to close out Marine1's tab. The bartender returns a minute later handing me Marine1's card and the receipt. My eyes bulge at the amount but add the tip on and sign his name at the bottom. I pocket the card and receipt and turn back to JC, "Ok let's move."
I let JC approach the two guys first. He easily slips into the conversation and after another moment I can see JC has maneuvered the conversation so that it is between just him and the Guy and Marine1 is merely a bystander. As I start to get up Marine1 makes eye contact with me and comes toward me instead. He silently takes my hand and closes his eyes a moment as he says, "This was not a good idea."

I can't help but smile as I agree with him. I give his hand a quick squeeze, "Come on lets go." I glance at JC real quick to see he still has Guy preoccupied. I stand and head for the door keeping a firm grip one Marine1's hand as he staggers slightly behind me. He stops suddenly the force pulling me backwards, "I got to close my tab."

I smile, "Already done."
Marine1: "Got my card."

Me: "Yep."

Satisfied with the answers we start walking again. Almost out the door I hear Guy shout at Marine1. I feel the hesitation flowing thru his body to his fingers intertwined thru mine. I pretend I didn't hear the guy and I tighten my grip as I push the inner door open and walk out. I turn to Marine1 and offer a half smile. He smiles back as he steps forward to open the next door for me. Almost clear. We get in the car where Marine1 slumps in the passenger seat, "why did you let me drink so much? Why didn't you cut me off?" He asks closing his eyes and leaning against the door.

I don't answer the rhetorical question, just crank the 4runner and wait for JC. He jumps in the backseat a minute later and we head toward Marine1's house. I pull up in the driveway and Marine1 leans over and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before stumbling out of the car. JC gets out of the backseat to help Marine1 into the house but he is a tad to slow. So as we watch the front door close. JC gets in the passenger seat and we head back to the restaurant where I tell him good night and drop him off at his truck.

I get home around 1:30 and set my alarm not understanding why I even bother anymore.......

This morning I arrive at work. My phone starts vibrating and Marine1's picture flashes up. "Good morning sunshine!" I say extra chippy cause I can imagine how hungover he feels and after keeping my out so late I want to be kinda annoying. lol

"Why does my ass hurt?"
Despite the two other people in the office I crack up trying to control my giggles and wish I was somewhere I could spout off the witty response that came to mind. But alas I bite my tounge, "I don't know I dropped you off, saw you go in the house and left."

"I think I fell down the stairs," he says letting out a little laugh as well. "I'm really sorry bout last night I really don't remember very much."

"Yeah you were an ass," I state.

I hear the remorse in his voice, "I'm sure I was. I'm so sorry!!"

"It's ok. Take it you didn't make it up this morning." Glancing at the clock it shows 9:30 when the night before he said he was leaving for base at 7:30.

"Nah, gonna wait and leave after lunch," he responds.

"Gottcha, well I gotta get back to work."

"Ok I have some stuff to do but if I have time I'll try and stop by and see you real quick before I leave."

"Ok." I knew its a nice gesture but I also knew he won't come by. Our three week mark had ended the night before at midnight as far as I was concerned. It was time for him to go back. Time for me to get back to my life.

I won't lie part of me will miss him. You know the kind that when you give up a bad habit misses the adrenaline rush and addiction. But its best he leave now before I got into deep. I'm still cautious. Not really wanting a relationship. Hell not even really wanting to go out on a date with someone whom I don't already know. I'm just not ready. As Blondie had hit the nail on the head, that was one of the things that was so appealing about Marine1 ~ the fact that I could go and hang out with him but that I knew that after 3 weeks it would be over. I didn't have to worry about it turning into something or think long term. She was right more so than she knows. I have learned to keep a certain amount of information to myself, therefor I haven't really told my friends the entire extent of Marine1. They don't know that he called or texted me nearly everyday he was here. Something that I didn't really see as such of a big deal until I started realizing that while home he spent nearly all his time with me when I know there were other girls that were wanting to go out with him. But then I think he appealed to me for the same reason I appealed to him. The understanding that at the end of three weeks that's it. We will stay in touch as before he came home but its not expected to be an everyday thing. No strings attached.

Ted, "She wants casual... Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? 'cause it's a game. I wanna to skip to the end and to the whole happily ever after thing. But you don't get there, unless you play the game."
Marshall, "So you gonna ask her out?"
Ted, "Yes. NO! I can't ask her out because if I ask her out I'm ASKING HER OUT. So how do I ask her out, without asking her out?"

~ How I Met Your Mother ~

1 comment:

Hippoleetoe said...

I love your writing !

Thats sooo crazy ! I love how you didnt get clingy or attached..