Tuesday, August 18, 2009


They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Is that true? Or in reality does it just make us paranoid and question everything?

Marine left over a week ago for a 16 day training thing (yes that is the extent of my knowledge). 16 days no phone, no email, no contact. I have grown used to talking to him for a few hours every night. But the sudden stop made me realize I missed him and perhaps liked him more than I had intended to. I missed our chats, missed the random texts.

But after those first initial days it was like the little elf inside me returned from vacation and looked at the wall around my heart that had started to give way. Its like he shook his head and started to mix up the cement in preparation for putting the wall back up and sealing the cracks. I think that is a natural reaction after being hurt. Even though I know Marine is coming back and nothing has changed, its like that little elf wants to protect you. He doesn't want your heart to get broken again. Weird analogy, huh?

Why is it that after we have been hurt we are very reluctant to let someone new in? We resolve (or at least I do) to not punish a current flame for a past ones mistakes. Even with the best intentions we do though. Subconsciously, perhaps. We do it by not letting them in, not giving them that full chance.

Yeah absence can make the heart grow fonder...... or it can give you to much time to over analyze.

And for that over-analyzer he did sneak and call me Sunday which was a great surprise! Yes for now I'll tell the elf that he can take some more time off and see what happens. I'm not ready for the wall to go back up quite yet.

“We're women; we have double standards to live up to."

~ Ally McBeal ~

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