Monday, September 28, 2009

Looking Toward The Future

When Marine and I started dating I thought I would be seeing him once a month. But here lately it has been rare that I have been able to see him almost every weekend. Which is great since coming up soon he will be gone for a month's training then after the first of the year deployed for eight months.

Friday night I tried to stay up and wait on him to get to the house but around 1:00 a.m. I lost the fight and sleep overcame me. I was awakened around 2:30 when he crawled in bed beside me. He apologizes for waking me up and reiterates how the normally 8 hour drive took over 9 hours due to the stormy, rainy weather. I don't care how late it is nor do I care that he woke me up, I'm just happy that he's here.

I don't know how but it seems we always have plenty to talk about. We began talking and didn't actually stop to consider sleep until the first hints of sun started to seep from behind the mountains. We slept a few hours then got up and hurried to leave the house and start the day.

Saturday was a low key day that ended with a trip to Sports Bar to watch the College Football team. Our team won! Yahoo!!

Back at the house we were laying in bed talking about the things he wanted to do Sunday before he left. Maybe a little back story here --- Marine may be slightly younger but he totally has his act together way more than any guys my age! When he joined the Marines instead of blowing his money on frivolous things he bought a house. Shortly after his parents sold there house and moved into his while they are preparing to build a house on some land they have. So while he is enlisted they are living there and helping him make the payments and the plan is once he's out their house will be done. So the situation is working out well for all involved. The house is small and little by little he is fixing it up. It has a great view though, a pasture and a small barn for his horse.

On the to do list was to go and look at paint samples for painting the exterior of the house. As we lay in bed he is throwing out ideas of colors he has been thinking about. He asks my opinion. I shoot one idea down and tell him I like another color better.

"But don't listen to me, it's your house paint it the color you want," I say after voicing my ideas on the matter - trying to sound neutral.

"I want to pick a color you like to," He responds and pauses for minute, "After all I'm hoping you'll want to live there with me one day."

I freeze trying to fight the urge to smile as I raise my head off his chest to turn and look at him, "Really?" I ask a smile creeping onto my face.

"Yeah..... I mean would you want to live there with me?" He sounds slightly uncertain by my response or lack there of.

"Of course," I lean down and kiss him, "Can I bring Horse to?"

He laughs, "Of course. I've already measured out where I can add on to the barn and build a stall for horse."

He says this because his horse stays outside all the time, granted it has a shed to get under out of the weather. Horse on the other hand is high maintenance. Yes you read that right. Maybe it's because she's a barrel horse - who knows. Anyway she goes outside daily but after an hour or two she's done. She wants back in. Back in the barn out of the heat and away from the flys and relentless gnats; or in the winter she wants back in where she knows I will put her warm winter blanket on her. He has a barn now but it is open and mainly used for storage but definitely enough room for a stall or two.

The fact that he has already considered Horse really means a lot to me. We spend another hour laying there discussing what we will do when he gets out. Then we talk about the upcoming deployment. He has already been on one deployment to Iraq and admits he really does not want to go to Afghanistan.

"Before we went to Iraq I had good feelings. Maybe it was because I was naive.... I don't know. I just don't have good feelings this time," He sighs, "But I signed up - I knew what I was getting into and I'm proud to serve my country. Just got to finish my time. Then I'm ready to be out and come home."

I keep hoping they will push the deployment back far enough that he won't have to go. Selfish, I know but having lost one friend to the war and hearing countless tales of others lost I can't help but feel selfish.

I try to cheer him and not show my worry or that I to have bad feelings about the deployment. I want to feel positive about it. But it's hard. I change the subject. Back to talking of things we have said we want to do when he gets out; trips to take, people to visit, simple things that he misses while away.

Eventually the conversation ceases and we say good night. As he drifts off to sleep I can't help but be happy looking toward a future with him, but yet at the same time feel heavy hearted for the obstacles he must over come before we can get to that point.

Remainder of the weekend posting to come --- sneak peak ---- Marine's mom, "She's a keeper."

"I never thought it would be easy dating someone in the Military. At the same time I never really considered the future of it. Perhaps with my track record I didn't suspect it to become anything serious......"
~ E ~


Alice said...

Any guy whose willing to support your horse is a guy to keep. I can't tell you how many times I've been out on a first date and I get the "you own a horse? You must be really high maintenance" look.

Love your blog, following!

Date Girl said...

What's this? Future talk? :-) I love it! This upcoming deployment will be hard, but it seems like Marine is great about communicating, and hopefully he'll be able to write, even call a few times while he's gone. You've got us blog friends and Vixen and the other to get you through it. I love that he's talking about having you live with him in his house, and all the fun plans you're making. Match and I lie awake and talk like that at night. It's one of my favorite things. I'm so happy you two are enjoying that too!

THE GUYS said...

Your relationship sounds very sweet!

Marine sounds thoughtful. And yes, mature for his age. As you say.

Obstacles are part of the process we guess. Although, we don't like waiting either. But it does make it taste even better when you finally get to have it!!

Our kids would agree with that. Literally!!

Have a good weekend.