Friday, October 30, 2009

The Original Four

In high school I had many friends, but only three people that I considered my best friends. They were all different and the funny part was that they weren't even really friends with each other, but they all had one thing in common...... me.

High School has been and will always be a popularity contest. Sad but true. I myself was on the outer rim of popularity. I was part of the popular crowd but just enough to be accepted by them and invited to all the cool and fun events. I say I was on the outer rim because to those not in the popular crowd I was still seen as a good person and not considered a snob as most the others were. Bottom line: I was nice to everyone.

Vixen on the other hand belonged to the inner realm of the popular crowd. She was one of the "it" girls. You know the type - every guy wants to date them and every girl secretly wishes to be them. It was unlikely that Vixen and I would become best friends the summer after our sophomore year, and even more unlikely that we would remain best friends thru the rest of high school. Being best friends with Vixen did up my value to the rest of the group but likewise her new found friendship with me ~ the eternal goody-goody ~ probably decreased her value.

Giggles on the other hand..... well Giggles was much the same way she is now; ditzy, giggly, and full of life. I would say she was somewhere in the middle of the popularity circle, not really belonging to one particular click but migrating between them. Not real sure how we became friends. It's like she appeared one day and the rest was history.

Now Conscious on the other hand was on the outer most rim of the popular crowd. And the main reason she remained part of the crowd was that she had grown up with all of them and they had no choice but to accept her. Acceptance isn't always free though. Conscious is one of the nicest people you will ever meet but she was a Valedictorian..... meaning she was pretty much a dork! Now all the popular crowd wanted her help when it came to school work but behind her back would mock her the way mean (dumb) kids do.

Yes these were my three best friends. Somewhere along the line I was able to bring them together to become friends as well. After High School we went our separate ways and to different colleges but every weekend we would come together and it was if things would never change.

Now years later things have changed. We are all at different stages in our lives. Conscious is married and always busy, Giggles is engaged, and me and Vixen............. well................ ok maybe not so much has changed! lol

Over the years we have added to our group of friends. But we are the original four I guess you could say.

I am reminded of this because this week we went to diner to celebrate Conscious's birthday. And once again it was just the four of us. For a moment it was if we were 17 again and carefree as we laughed over Ihop pancakes and a round of Dr. Peppers.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wordless Wednesday ~ Fall Colors

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's All About The Dress

Saturday Vixen, Babbles and I loaded up in the 4runner and headed for the mall. Our wallets were pretty close to empty but we looked forward to window shopping and drooling over things we know we can't afford. Plus we were on a mission; to find me a dress for the Marine Ball.

We enter the mall and head for the first department store. Its early in the day and we are all in high spirits. While I look for a ball dress Vixen and Babbles seem on a quest to find the worse dress the store had to offer. This didn't last long as Vixen was distracted by a pretty party dress. She quickly finds her size and then chooses another party dress for me determined that we must take a few minutes to play dress up. Babbles laughs and declines to get involved. But Vixen and I out vote her and she quickly chooses a gaudy hooker dress and follows us to the dressing room.... with some protest of course.

{Babbles is in the purple ~ I am in the black (and why yes those are cowboy boots with the dress) lol ~ And Vixen is in the white and black. They were twirly dresses so Vixen and I had to twirl --- hope this at least makes you laugh. }

After our moments of fun we once again started acting our age. I tried on the two possible ball dresses, both of which received big thumbs down from the girls.

All of us are hungry so we head to the food court for some awful Japanese food. Really we knew better. The lights of Subway beckoned to me but I stayed in line for teriyaki chicken and fried rice. Which as most mall food is, was a big disappointment.

After lunch we search a few bridal shops looking at bridesmaids dresses hoping to find "the one". No such luck. We continue on. We enter Macy's and start flipping thru the racks.

All the dresses are:

A) To sparkly/flashy [ I do not consider myself a flashy person and really don't like to stand out ]

B) The wrong color [ I have to match Marine's Dress Blues...... that limits my color options to navy, red, and black ]

C) Not formal enough [ ie to short, show to much skin, etc ]

D) To promish [ yes there is such a thing ]

E) To old lady looking

After some searching I have two dresses in hand. Vixen is standing in the coat section drooling over a white Jessica Simpson coat.

Just in case, I decide to head up the escalator and search the second floor.... just to make sure there are no more dresses. Vixen's eyes do not leave the coat as she says she will meet us upstairs shortly. Somewhere between the coats and the escalator I lose Babbles. Holding my dresses I spin in a circle looking for her. She's tall surely I could spot her. Oh hell...... By my lonesome I head up the escalator. I wander around and happen to stumble upon a small dress section labeled Petite. And there it is. The Dress.

Excitedly I look around. No Vixen. No Babbles. I pull out the Blackberry and speed dial. No answer. I call again. I get Babbles she is heading my way. I show her the dress and she helps me to find my size. I grab a 6P seeing as at the last store the 4's were a little tight.

"Just in case," Babbles says as she grabs the only 4p hanging on the rack.

My phone rings. It's Vixen. She is lost in purses, "Head towards the shoes," I say which may have very well meant 'walk towards the light!' lol

They follow me to the dressing room. I try on the dress. Babbles and Vixen are both silent...... for a split second.... which is a miracle in itself. Then at once they both start rambling.....

Vixen with a sharp in take of breath: "If I ever get married that is your bridesmaid dress."

Babbles: "Oh that would make a beautiful bridesmaids dress!....... Step back so I can take a picture."

I flatten myself to the dressing room wall.

Babbles: "Back further....." I open the stall door and step out.

I hear a gasp as a woman from the other end of the dressing room exclaims, "Oh honey! You look stunning."

As I turn to tell her thank you I can hear Babbles and Vixen, their voices never ceasing.

Vixen: "It's beautiful."

Babbles: "Yes very much our age."

Vixen: "He's going to want to propose to you when he sees you in that dress."

Babbles: "OH MY GOD he is so going to propose to you!!"

Vixen: "What if he did propose? What would you say?"

Babbles: "She would say yes of course."

Vixen: "You can't move out and get married!! You at least have to wait till he gets out of the Marines."

Babbles: "That dress is just fabulous."

Mind you I can not get a word in edge wise and in less than a minute they have me engaged and Vixen worrying about me moving out. Meanwhile the lady at the other end of the dressing room is still exclaiming how great the dress looks on me and is now calling to her friend to come see me!

I thank the lady again and she moves along and I step back in the dressing room. Vixen and Babbles are seated on the bench and are still going 90 to nothing..... now they are on the topic that if nothing else the dress with definitely get me laid. Yes, they are great friends.

"He is not going to propose," I tell them.

"He might when he sees you in that dress," Babbles says as she unzips me.

"This is moving way to fast. I'm not ready," Vixen stammers.

Babbles: "Come on Vixen we all know he's the one."

"You guys! Hello!!" I turn and they both finally grow silent. "He is not going to propose," I look at Babbles and then to Vixen, "I'm not moving out." They both just grin at me not hearing a word I say as they ignore me and then continue with their banter. I sigh and hand over the dress for Vixen to put back on the hanger (the 4p i might add!! Yes the 6 was to big ~ working out is paying off).

"Should I try on the other two?" I ask.

"Heck might as well...... Just to see." Babbles replies.

Before I even have the next one on and zipped they are both already telling me they don't like it. I hand it to Babbles and take the third one which is also met with disapproval.

Vixen points out that the 4p is missing the little hook above the zipper. She knows the dress is more than I wanted to spend and in order to afford it I will pick up a few extra nights at Sports Bar (mainly so I don't feel guilty spending the extra money). So she brings the 6P with us to the nice lady behind the sales counter and in return for the missing piece I receive 15 percent off.


Below are pictures Vixen took with her IPhone. They really do not do the dress justice! I almost don't want to even post them...... EEK!! There is much more detail to the dress then the picture shows....... As you can see its black and fitted at the top and then flares out slightly at the knees. At the top there is also black tulle that comes up just a hint to accent.

As Babbles said it looks my age - not like I'm trying to be a teenage reliving my prom glory years.

"Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman."
~ Coco Chanel ~

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Fear of Commitment

It was Friday night and I stood at the stove finishing up my chicken fajitas when Vixen emerged from the bathroom her hair up in a towel. I held my tongue as she entered the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to retrieve a Diet Dr. Pepper.

“What are you making?” She asks.

“Who are you going to see?” I counter glancing at her with a smile and the raise of my eyebrow.

“A friend.”

“Ok so that means it’s a guy.” I put the chicken and shredded cheese on the quesadilla and remove the cheese dip from the microwave.

“Why do you say that?”

I just pause and look at her.

“Ok,” She shrugs her shoulders.

“So who is it?” I head to the living room with my diner and she follows behind.

“You don’t know him.”

AKA you know him and don’t like him.

“So what are ya’ll going to do?”

“Just rent some movies and hang out at the house.” She still refuses to refer to the ‘friend’ as male or female.

“Movies huh?” I reach beside me, “Like these?” I hold up three movies I had rented before coming home.

She laughs, “I just need to get out.”

“Ok.” I take a bite of my fajita.

She rises from the couch and heads to the bathroom.

I hit play on the remote and continue eating.

Have I mentioned that Vixen has a very strong commitment phobia? Yes, Vixen is afraid of commitment much in the same way kids our afraid of monsters under the bed. It’s a fear that you grow out of but never quite get over. Every time a relationship gets to a certain point Vixen normally runs. She won’t admit it but I think her motto is ‘get out before you get hurt.’ She likes to be the one in control and fears falling for someone to the point that they might actually have the power to break her heart. Her longest running relationship I believe is with me… and well I think that’s only because she hasn’t figured out a way to get rid of me yet.

She is gone not a full minute before she comes back into the living room, still in her bathrobe and her hair still up in a towel. Silently she plops down on the couch.

I look over at her questioningly.

“I hate you.”

“Why’s that?” I ask.

“You made me think,” she laughs, “that’s why I was hurrying to get gone before you got home.”

I laugh, “If you want to go don’t let me stop you.”

“Pass me the cheese dip.”

Now after this is when the heavy conversations take place. As I had known Vixen had told VB earlier in the week she needed some space. That translates to: I like him but I think I'm starting to get in a little to deep and I'm not ready for that.

Which in typical Vixen fashion also means she feels the need to go out. The need to feel superior as helpless men are drawn to her - she will flirt and then blow them off at the end of the night. More than likely giving them a fake number...... or worse yet mine...... depending on the amount of drinks involved. She just wants the rush of feeling in control. In a situation she can control.

That's my theory anyway.

"Why am I freaking out?" she asks, "I mean VB's great. I like him...... I'm just not sure I'm ready for a serious relationship. You know how I am."

"I know and I understand," I tell her.

We talk a few more moments before we start playing American Idol, this time choosing ridiculous songs that we have never done before and don't know the words to. Imagine karaoke gone bad.

Two bowls of ice cream and a movie later we say good night. I head down the stairs to my dungeon yawning as I go.

"E?" she calls.

I stop and turn, "Yeah?"

"Thanks for not letting me do anything stupid," she smiles, "one day I'll get over this phobia."

I smile back at her, "That's what friends are for."

"A man's emotional checklist is pretty basic: Am I hungry? Am I sleepy? Am I horny? If he's content in all three areas, he's pretty much okay. A woman's emotional checklist reads more like a Russian novel. It's long, complicated, confusing, and you spend a lot of time trying to keep the characters straight."
~ A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend: For Every Guy Who Wants to Be One,
for Every Girl Who Wants to Build One ~
By Felicity Huffman and Patricia Wolff

Friday, October 23, 2009

Living The Fairytale

Yesterday morning I was on my way to work and listening to the radio. Imagine my surprise to hear that every girl can now fulfill her lifetime dream and have a complete fairy tale wedding (Sense sarcasm). Yes that's right Disney is now offering a line of engagement rings and wedding dresses ~ Princess inspired of course.

The collection will be available Spring 2010 and the prices will vary from $1,000 to $6,000.

Every little girl had their FAVORITE princess. Mine was Cinderella. Not sure if it was the dress, the glass slippers, the fairy Godmother, or the fact that she got to ride in a pumpkin ~ But she was my favorite hands down. Perhaps it was her love of animals at the beginning of the movie that captured my heart.

Anyway ~ We all have a favorite.

But as an adult would I really want to have a Disney wedding? [ Read a previous Disney Post I wrote. ] I'm not so sure. But I admit the news story did spark my interest. Enough obviously that I googled it when I got to work. Mainly out of disbelief and the curiosity just how cheesy could this get. And yes the rings are pretty...... check out the other rings here. Ok yes the
Cinderella inspired ring is quite nice......

Well lets take a look at the dresses. Ok well they are obviously beautiful! None that particularly caught my eye but all of them stunning to say the least!

Still though I just don't think I could say, "Why yes this the Sleeping Beauty ring...."

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."
~ Cinderella ~

Superior Scribbler Award

Thank you Ana from far away! for awarding me with the Superior Scribbler Award!! I love Ana's blog and feel honored that you enjoy mine as well! :)
Now as with all awards there are always rules, blah blah blah......... Ok so down to business:

1. Each Superior Scribbler must turn and pass on this award to 5 of the most deserved blogs.

2. Each Superior Scribbler must link to the blog and name the author from which he/she received the award on his/her blog.

3. Each Superior Scribbler must display the award on his or her blog, and link to this post.

4. Each blogger who was awarded Superior Scribbler, must visit this post and add their name to the Mr. Linky. That way we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives this prestigious honor.

5. Each Superior Scribbler must post the rules to their blog.

So now, with that being said I would like to pass this award on to:

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Change, Change

Yeah I had a delightful, witty post for today but then decided it could wait a day. What I was really in need of was a blog makeover! I mean I'm not single anymore ..... but I don't want to change my blog name..... so check out the header...... What do you think? Colors ok? Or hard to read?? Also what about blog text size, font color, etc? Let me know what you think. Over the next few days I will update my links and such and have also decided (not sure if good idea or not) but now you can follow lifeofasinglegirl on twitter @ lifeofsinglegrl.

Let me know whatcha think about the design!

Monday, October 19, 2009

The Book

It all started last year. Vivi and I were wandering around the Miami airport. We had a few hours to kill till our flight. It was in the airport Barnes and Noble that I first spotted a book that would catch my eye. I would pick it up contemplate on buying it but then return it when Vivi and I found a book with a slightly more interesting title. Mentally though I added it to my ‘must read list’. Several months later while ordering from Amazon I again pull the book up. It’s on the New York Times Bestseller list. I scroll down the item page scanning the reviews as I go. Some reviews are good saying that the book is witty and a must read, while other reviews say how awful the book is. In reality this only intrigues me more and my desire to read grows. The arrow lingers over “add to cart” yet I hesitate my cart already has three books in it and I just can’t bring myself to spend the extra money. So I save it for a later.

In all honesty I had nearly forgot about the book. Then one night Marine and I were talking and somehow the conversation turned to books we had read or wanted to read. The book comes up. Marine laughs saying that he has read it and asks if I’m sure I want to read it. I consider myself a pretty well rounded person and not really understanding what I am fully getting myself into I answer with an affirmative, “yes.”

Now fast forward a bit. It is the morning of my birthday. I sit on the bed smiling as Marine spreads my presents out before me. Excitedly I start opening. There it is, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.

With a laugh Marine says, “I knew you said you wanted to read and I figured you would never actually buy if for yourself,” he pauses then adds, “besides I figure you can read that while I’m deployed that way you’ll appreciate me more and not think about how hard it is me being gone.”

I shake my head at him and laugh and then jump across the bed tackling him a hug. At that time I thought I couldn’t possibly appreciate him anymore that I already do.

I was wrong.

So Marine is not deployed yet. But he is off on some training thing for a month. I just finished reading The Lost Symbol and with nothing else new on my bookcase I decide to go ahead and crack open the stories of Tucker Max.

Last night I sat upstairs I had been reading and the book now lay on the coffee table abandoned because Desperate Housewives was about to come on. Vixen isn’t home yet and it’s just me and VB (Vixen’s Boy).

He spots the book. “You’re reading this?” he asks with a look of surprise on his face.

“Yeah.” I answer.

He laughs, “Never would have pictured this would be a book you would read.”

I laugh to. I guess because I am the shy, easily embarrassed one of the group and honestly perhaps the most naive. But VB and I have been friends since middle school so we start into a discussion about the book. Apparently every guy, even the ones that don’t normally read, have read this book.

Bravo Tucker Max. Bravo.

Now with that being said, WOW!! I mean really, I was not fully prepared before starting this book. And yes when Marine got his weekly ten minute phone call and called me yesterday I admitted to him that the book did make me appreciate and love him even more (if possible) for being such a nice guy. And then I was quick to add that we were going to have a discussion once he was back about some of things in the book and if he thought even remotely like Tucker I was going to slap him. At which he laughs and says, “Hey I warned you it was pretty vulgar.”

Despite all that though I cannot put the book down. Yes, Tucker Max is degrading, repulsive, and self destructive to name just a few. He treats women as if they are expendable entities not even worthy of being thought of as people. The lack of respect oozes from him much like the booze smell that I am sure he reeked of for at least the majority of his early twenties. Yet in all honesty if more girls read this book I think perhaps it would open their eyes. I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday……….. Whoa wait where did that come from? I never use that saying….. where did I even hear it from….. oh well anyway ---- I know a line when I hear it. That is perhaps why I don’t hook up. Ok well except that one time. But really everyone needs to experience at least one one-night-stand in their lifetime. I mean it’s a right of passage. Ok maybe not but it makes me feel better about mine. Back to point basic principle girls fall head over heals WAY to easily. I mean if a guy gives us a little attention and says just a few of the right things we are putty in his hands. You know I’m right. I blame Disney. We’ve all done it; fell for that bad boy when we know better. Well this book gives you a little insight to what that bad boy you think you love is really thinking. I mean I love my guy friends and that is perhaps why I really understand this book to an extent because some of the stories I have heard similar - well more rated - versions of from my guy friends. Trust me over the years I have heard more than I really would like to have. And yes guys really do think this way.

Now I have said all this to quote a part from the book {I warn you explicit, vulgar content to follow, I don’t want to offend anybody so stop reading now if you are easily offended – again this is a direct quote}:

“Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid fucking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn’t-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no suck thing as ‘deserving’ respect; you get what you demand from people. Let a guy fuck you in the ass, cum on your back, drink all your beer and then leave, and he’ll do it. But if you demand respect, he will either respect you, or he won’t associate with you. It really is that simple.”

I have to say I agree with Tucker. As I read this part I paused and thought back on past failed relationships along with guys of the past that didn’t quite make it to that relationship status. And in each case I realized the more I liked the guy the more I would let him run over me. Or a better way to say it – if I was more into the guy than he was into me than I tended to demand less respect because I was blinded by God knows what and therefore thought he actually deserved to be in my life. At least that is how early twenties E was.

No guy is perfect just like no girl is perfect either. But when you are lucky enough to find one that is as close to perfect in your eyes as someone can be, well appreciate them. Yeah reading this book and thinking about my string of ex’s really makes me appreciate Marine more.

Also as I read the story of Tucker Max’s life and of the many, many women he meets and has relations with I can’t help but wonder; what will happen when he finally meets the “one”? Will he lose her because of his wild past? What will she think of his book and his many conquests? Could a girl ever move past that to have a serious relationship with him? Or has he pretty much shot himself in the foot and set the course of his life to remain a single boozing, sleeping with anything that moves bachelor who will never settle down?

"Look, I know how bad some of these stories are. I know that in return for my youthful behavior, fate will give me five daughters......"
~ Tucker Max, This'll Just Hurt A Little ~

Friday, October 16, 2009

Over The Top

As my name is called my face lights up with a look of shock and genuine surprise. I rise to my feet as others around me also stand to embrace me and speak words of congratulations. A smile is spread across my face and I cautiously balance on my stiletto high heals as I navigate my way to the stage. The black Gucci dress I have chosen for the night hugs what few curves I have just right and actually gives the illusion that I have cleavage. I have never felt more beautiful.
I take the stage and as I am handed my award....................
I come back down to earth and realize that even though this isn't the CMA's and I'm not winning Female Vocalist of the year I am still thrilled to have been honored with the award of Over The Top. Date Girl (one of my very dear blog friends) was so kind as to pass this award on for me to proudly display on my blog. I love getting awards!
So now without further ado, my thank you speech...... ahem....... or the questions I have to answer that go along with the acceptance of this award. :)
1. Where is your cell phone: Sitting on my desk right beside my mouse pad.

2. Your hair: Actually straight for a change. My hair tends to love cool fall weather and always seems to do better in the winter months.

3. Your mother: The best. No seriously she is. She may drive me crazy from time to time but I know she is always there for me. I see her about every other day (as we work at the barn after finishing up at our day jobs) and talk to her at least that often.
4. Your father: Passed away nearly 3 years ago. I am and will always be a daddy's girl. I miss him very much and still at times feel lost without him.

5. Your favorite food: Probably Mexican. But in all honesty at the mention of food the little fat girl inside me gets all giddy and really can't pick just one favorite!

6. Your dream from last night: I have no clue. I remember waking up this morning and still half asleep thinking to myself "huh that was weird" but the actual dream has been long since forgotten. I do remember that Marine was in it........
7. Your favorite drink: Dr. Pepper

8. Your dream/goal: to get my master and teach college classes that way when I have kids I can hopefully teach classes two days a week and be a stay at home mom the rest of the time. Or just win the lottery and travel the world.

9. What room are you in: At the office

10. What is your hobby: Taking pictures, reading, writing, riding horses...... really the list could go on and on.

11. What is your fear: failure

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years: I will be 33....... 33......... ok had a small panic attack right then..... but it's ok.......... I'm ok. In 6 years I would like to have at least one kid. I want to feel like I have achieved something and that I am where I want to be at that point in my life.
13. Where were you last night: In the dreaded basement soaking up more water and then doing homework.
14. Something you are not: Snobby, graceful, mean, selfish.

15. Muffins: Never been much of a muffin person...... give me a biscuit or a doughnut.
16. Wish list items: New boots for horse, a week vacation to someplace tropical, new camera. Or realistically just money to pay off bills.
17. Where did you grow up: Small town in the south
18. Last thing you did: Um finished up my work for the afternoon and waiting on quiting time to
roll around so I can head off to job #2.

19. What are you wearing: Today is casual Friday for me ~ Jeans, American Eagle long sleeve t-shirt, brown Timberland shoes.

20. Your TV: hoping that one day it will morph into a nice sized flat screen.
21. Your pets: 3 horses (or if you count the family animals - 8 horses total and 4 dogs).
22. Your friends: A diverse group, some have been life long friends and some are newer editions. But overall they are a great bunch that I know I can always count on.

23. Your life: Up in the air.

24. Your mood: not feeling real good and wish I could go home take some medicine and go to bed instead of having to go to job #2....... but I need the money.
25. Missing someone: Very much missing Marine! 3 more weeks till he returns to base and 4 more weeks before I will see him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder........ or drives you crazy.
26. Vehicle: Toyota 4runner that I have a love/hate relationship for.
27. Something you’re not wearing: Mascara, I wear very little makeup - makeup for me consists
of putting on powder.
28. Your favorite store: Target probably or Ross
29. Your favorite color: blue

30. When’s the last time you laughed: last night when Marine1 posted a funny comment on Facebook that reminded me of funny times from moments past.

31. When’s the last time you cried: Tuesday. I was overwhelmed what with the flooding, the lack of sleep, the stress of bills, and the coming up anniversary of my dad's death.

32. Your best friend: Vixen, thru thick and thin she's always there.
33. One place you go over and over: The barn. It is my favorite place. It's like I leave all my troubles at the door and a calm washes over me as I step inside and inhale the smell of hay and horses.
34. One person who emails me regularly: A friend at work sends me funny forwards daily.

35. Favorite place to eat: I have to agree with Date Girl after my recent trip to The Melting Pot I believe it makes its way to the top of the list. Followed by Bahama Breeze.

Thanks again for thinking my blog is Over The Top! And thank you my readers, I love sharing my experiences from you and reading your comments. Now I would like to pass this award on to some of my other favorite bloggers....... Drum roll please................. And the award goes to...........
The Girl That Dreams Follow the life of Phoebe as she tries to balance school, work, a long distance relationship, and other day to day occurrences. Totally relatable and you love her from first read.
Kyra's Web Log Read the interesting musings of Kyra Davis, bestselling author, as she discusses everything from her books to her everyday life. She is one of my favorite authors and her blog is just as enjoyable as her books.
Breakfast At Wal-Mart Nicole is barely hanging onto her twenties but with a witty humor and
flair of style she is sure to entertain readers and leave them wondering what will happen next.
And Date Girl already gave the award to following blog so I would like to second the nominee and recommend that you check out The Guy's Perspective ~ humorous at times, serious at times but always a great read!

[At a Soap Opera Awards show, Joey accepted an award on an absent actress behalf]
Rachel, "Joey, you cant steal an award."
Joey, "Im not stealing it. Im accepting it on her behalf."
Rachel, "You dont even know what behalf means."
Joey, "I know what it means. Its a verb. As in, I behalfing it."
~ Friends ~

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Living, Loving, & Learning

Lets get up to date here. To many things going on and not enough time to blog. This is a catch up of the 3L's of my life; where I'm living, how I'm loving, and what I'm learning.

  • Basement Dwelling Sucks

I love, love, LOVE being roommates with Vixen....... But I hate, hate, HATE her house. If you have seen the weather channel at all in the past few months you would have seen one constant green rain blob covering the south. Seriously we have had so much rain that I have contemplated on building an arc. Twice now the basement has flooded. That means that twice now my bathroom and a corner of my bedroom has flooded. My already jam packed schedule is thus interrupted because I have to spend at least an hour a day with the shop-vac sucking water up out of the carpet. Tuesday I thru up my hands. The carpet was still soaking wet, homework was piled up, my laundry basket was overflowing and I was PMSing something fierce. So basically I was not in a good mood. I grabbed my laptop and laundry basket and headed to my mom's. After staying there two nights I figured it was time to return to the basement and see if the carpet had dried anymore.

Before doing this though I made a trip to Lowe's and armed myself with 'Damp Rid', something which I hoped would be magic and solve all my impending mold problems.

The carpet was still damp. I attacked it fiercely with the shop-vac and then strategically placed the Damp Rid. At this point I enter my bathroom to discover the counter covered (well maybe not covered but close enough) with mouse droppings!!! Keep in mind this is not my first mouse, nor is it my second mouse...... but my THIRD mouse!! If you do the math that is a mouse per month.

I spy the remnants and cringe, gross! I move closer and realize the little shit has eaten (you read that right) EATEN my toothbrush!! There are bristles all around the toothbrush holder that have been pulled from the brush and abandoned. I physically shudder at the thought. I pull my toothbrush and Marine's from the holder and through them in the trashcan, I pull out the Clorox wipes and go to town. As I clean the bathroom I go to slide the basket I have filled with towels that sits by the sink and realize there are mouse droppings among my towels to. Great! Just great! I pick up the basket and head upstairs where I shake the towels out outside and then put all of them into the wash. I put extra detergent in and switch the dial to hot.

I reiterate basement dwelling sucks. Period.

  • High Points
In good news two weekends ago I received an award that I have worked hard toward all year. Horse and I were named 2009 High Point Champions for Texas Barrels at an area saddle club. At the beginning of the season one of my goals had been to win High Points. To achieve this goal I had to make some sacrifices, i.e. going to shows on weekends when there were perhaps other events that I would have liked to/or needed to attend. I'm sure my lack of availability upset some of my friends but one can only hope that they understand. In the end our hard work and dedication paid off. Horse and I won!

  • Marine

Marine is currently somewhere in the desert doing field training. Wednesday made a week that he has been gone. He won't return to base till November 2nd at the earliest or November 5th at the latest. This means no contact, or very little at least. I received a text from him Monday but nothing since. Cell service is sparse.

  • Awkward Moment of the Week

Vixen and I lately have discussed our ex's to some length. Let me specify - our ex's are our ex's for a reason. We got that. We don't miss them as significant others but at times we do miss them as friends. I mean X was a part of my life for 8 years. There are events that took place in my life that truly only he knows or can understand. Same for Vixen. Now with that said I am 110% happy with Marine. Do you get what I'm trying to say or am I sticking my foot in my mouth?

Anyway moving on I feel like I am starting to come down with a cold. Everyone in my office has had it and it seems it is now my turn. As I left work I headed to the grocery store with three items in mind: Bananas, Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream, and V8 Strawberry Banana smoothie juice.

I grab the first two and am half way down the juice aisle when I spot X's mom she has her back to me. Before I can stop to turn my eyes meet X's stepdad. Crap. I've been spotted. I'm half way down the aisle, I can't turn around. So I continue on, my smiling matching stepdads. Then my eyes drift to the person kneeling in front of the shopping cart looking at an item on the bottom shelf..... X.

As stated before I live in a small town. Run ins are inevitable. With my head held high I smile and say hello as I approach. This turns into a 5+ minute conversation. X's parents, X and myself all gathered around their shopping cart. We were nice. Conversation was natural. X and I were both adults. As I ended the conversation with a "it was great to see you" I grab my juice and get the heck out of dodge. I can feel the red splotches that always come with nerves or anger creeping up my chest and neck. So many emotions rush to the surface as I make my way to the checkout. I still love X. Not in that I want to be with you love. But a friend love a completely different love than I once thought I had for him. I felt longing for those missed relationships. I was a part of that family. His mom and I had been so close. As I walked away I realized that I missed that relationship most of all.

This being the sole reason I have been so careful to keep my distance from Marine's family. Marine's mom is great! Even when he is not around its as if they have accepted me as part of their family. Marine's sister came with me to the horse show the night I received my award and this past Monday I was invited to go eat diner with them even though Marine is on the other side of the country. They are so nice and I am thankful they are so welcoming. Yet its like I'm standing at the door with one foot inside the other outside, hesitant to come all the way in. Its bad enough when a relationship doesn't work out but then there is all the collateral damage. Such as my relationship with X's mom. For that reason I'm not yet ready to get close to Marine's family. Am I crazy?

I really really like Marine. I could actually a see a future there. I guess I'm just not ready to add the family into the equation yet.

My advice to myself is normally - learn from the past. But sometimes perhaps that's not the best policy. I'm not yet ready to be fully part of another family but I think I will stop hesitating with one foot out the door. My resolution as of today is to take that step and go completely inside. Sometimes you have to take chances. It sucks getting hurt, but what if you pass up something that could be wonderful just because your afraid of getting hurt?

“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

~ Carrie, SATC ~

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Girls Diner

Monday night the girls (Vixen, Giggles, Nurse Betty) and I headed to meet Vivi. It was great to have diner with my girls and catch up. Vivi had brought along a friend from work, who I think we overwhelmed with our non-stop banter and naturally crazy selves. And I'm sure it's safe to say will probably never want to be seen with us again.

The absence of alcohol on the table was not the only change that has taken place. Vivi is now married to her job which seems to be an abusive lover but has its advantages so she sticks with it. Nurse Betty is pregnant and due this next month to deliver a girl that will be spoiled relentlessly by her numerous 'non-blood related' aunts. Giggles is blissfully happy with her unemployment/housewife status in which she swears she does not grow bored. Vixen well I'm still trying determine Vixen's transformation..... I think she is just stressed to the gill. And as for myself well somethings change and some remain the same.

Perhaps it has to do with the changing of seasons but it always seems that at this time of year I start to self-evaluate. And no matter what I always seem to score low. And once again I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I am not where I should be in life. Career wise mainly. I like my job ok.... but lets face the facts - it is a job that barely (barely) pays the bills and is not even remotely related to my field of interest/degree. I know that I am the only one that can change that aspect but in a small town the options are limited. I would love to move but just to many factors; lack of money, horse, my widowed mom, etc. To many strings.

Ok maybe I just needed to bitch a minute.

Monica, "Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages, and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision."
~ Friends ~

Monday, October 12, 2009

Blogger Block

Lately I have been experiencing a case of the blogger block. It is the blogger version of the flu I have concluded. I have these funny stories to share, yet not the time to sit and post. Or when I do have the time it seems my brain is absolutely fried and I stare at my computer screen in hopes the words will just magically appear. But no matter how hard I stare my mind remains blank.

Monica, "I don’t need a tissue! I’m fine-d!"
Ross, "When you put a ‘D’ at the end of ‘Fine’ you’re not fine."
Monica, "I’m fine-d. I’m fine-d! Y’know, it’s a really hard word to say."
~ Friends ~

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Road Less Traveled

As I stepped outside I took a deep breath of cool fall air. The day was beautiful, you know the kind, ~ blue-not-a-cloud-in-sight- perfect sky. A jeans and t-shirt day. I climbed in the passenger seat as I heard Marine close the tail gate behind his dog. Perfect afternoon to get out and enjoy nature.

We stop at a small, local BBQ joint and get sandwich's to go and continue on our way. A valley winding thru the mountains. And even though I was born and raised in this small town, I have never been to it. We drive down the dirt road, stopping at every creek crossing so that I can take pictures and that Dog can play in the creek.

We stop and sit on the tail gate of the truck and eat our sandwiches as we watch the leaves drift off the trees and Dog run back and forth splashing in the creek. This, in my opinion, is my idea of a perfect day. Just us and so far out that cell phone service does not exist. Like leaving the worries of the real world behind as we take in nature and everything else seems so insignificant. We continue up the winding dirt road that leads us deeper into the mountains, laughing and talking about anything and everything.

"I think this is it," Marine says as he eases the truck off the side of the road. Barely visible a little trail winds up into the woods. I let the tail gate down and Dog jumps down happily and races over to where Marine is waiting at the head of the trail. I come up beside him and he takes my hand as we head into the woods.

The ground is soft from the heavy rains that have pelted the south over the past few weeks and my tennis shoes slide as I start on the uphill climb.

Marine tells me its been a long time since he's been up to the waterfall and he's not even really sure that this is the right path. I laugh as I tell him that I guess we will soon find out. We continue to talk as we hike and then we come around a small turn and I stop mid-sentence as Marine squeezes my hand and we catch our first glimpse of the small waterfall. Carefully we navigate closer as we head downward on the trail. From the moisture of the creek and waterfall the rocks are slippery and Marine holds tightly to my hand ~ he is quite aware of what a klutz I am and I know he can just picture me sliding and rolling down the mountain. As I'm sure we all can knowing my previous mishaps............

We take so many pictures!! I was even able to prop the camera up on an old tree and with the use of the nifty timer take some pictures of us. Which may sound easy....... but I have a nice Cannon Rebel and I am super careful with it! So I wrapped the camera strap around the tree limb a million times to make sure it was secure, then I had to prop it just right as Marine stood down below, then I hit the button and within 2o seconds had to make it down the slippery slope without falling. Yes it was slightly difficult but so worth the great pics that turned out! Some turned out great.... and some turned out slightly fuzzy but others turned out really good ~ especially given the 20 second run time! (See few below.... unfortunately you get the fuzzy copies).

As we stood by the falls he said it. Those three words I had known in my heart but been to scared to speak aloud; I love you. My heart swelled as I looked into his eyes and I said it back, really meaning it...................

Ok your right that sounds to much like a scene out of a sappy love movie. But we did say I love you for the first time and we did say it at the waterfall. Which was perfect but the details.... well somethings are best left to the imagination.

If given the chance take the road less traveled. No telling what you might find.....

"Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin? Well that's what love is like. Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep on going."

~ Practical Magic ~

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Wordless Wednesday ~ One More

So here is just one more pic (now that I downloaded them) from the Shadow Ninja mission..... the half finished yard...... hard to see them in the dark.....

Friday, October 2, 2009

Shadow Ninja

Yes, I E belong to highly covert group referred to simply as Shadow Ninjas. As a shadow ninja I take on impossible missions in which I know better but perhaps am still to young to care. I was recruited at a young age and no matter how hard I try to escape it seems once a shadow ninja your part of the group for life. Over the years the missions have become few and far between. There are only two rules when it comes to the missions:

1. The mission must remain secret. Never talked about. Never admit to it. Lips sealed.

2. You must laugh at the stupid thing you are about to or have done.

It was Saturday night and I was at Babbles watching the College Football game. Her husband was working late so it was just the two of us (always trouble). So one of our other friends and her husband are Babbles neighbors and over the summer they started a "lawn war" which translates into prank war of such. --------- and yes we are all adults but refuse to grow up completely.

So it's half time of the game and Babbles suggest we strike.... I try to decline but to no avail. We quickly raid her closet and I am given a Under Armor black track pants and sweatshirt to wear. I have on my black tennis shoes so I'm set.

We have 100 skewers to which we stick marshmallows on. We drive the short distance to the friends home. I turn off my lights as we approach the house and drive past and turn the car around so that we are ready for a quick get away. I pull the hood of the sweatshirt up and slip the flashlight into the front pocket of Babbles over sized hoodie that is engulfing me. We step out into the quite night and make our way down the gravel road. We are in stealth mode, crouched down as we make our way into the yard.

Hurriedly we split up and go to work sticking the skewers in the yard. All of a sudden I hear the front door opening. To my right is a small tree - if you can even call it that, more like baby tree. I press my back against the tree realizing it is barely wide enough to conceal me, but I remain frozen as I hear Girlfriend walking down the length of the porch apparently talking on her cellphone.

I remain motionless, clutching my skewers tightly as the light from the porch reveals the ones that are already in place. Girlfriend is oblivious as she paces back and forth intent on her conversation. Every once in awhile her voice would fade as the person on the other end of the line would talk..... or so I assumed.

By this point I am starting to sweat as the end of summer humidity envelops me and small invisible bugs buzz around my face. I can't move though for fear of revealing my location. So I tough it out remaining still. 30 minutes (or more) have passed when I finally hear the front door open and Girlfriends footsteps retreat inside. I pause a moment before peeking around the tree.

"Babbles?" I whisper.


"Babbles?" I say slightly louder.

Again silence.

The flood lights flip on. "Run for the car!" crosses my mind by my split second of hesitation is followed by the sound of an opening door. I again press my back to the tree. Its GF's husband. Yep we're so busted, I think as I hear his heavy footsteps on the porch.

My heart is pounding and I go back to the childhood theory: if I can't see him, he can't see me.

Then the silence is broke, "You can come out now I can see you...." his voice booms.

"DANG IT!!" Babbles says.

I step out from behind the tree.

"Whoa!" he starts laughing, "Didn't see you just Babbles."

The first Shadow Ninja mission failure. First in history. That just means next strike has to be bigger and better!