Saturday, March 27, 2010

Sex And Spanx

So before I tell you about this weekend, I still need to tell you about last weekend.

Last Saturday I received a nice surprise.

Vivi was in my neck of the woods for a random lunch date. So of course I pretty much demand she see me while over here and then I proceed to nag her, text her, and basically do anything I can to get her to meet up with me after the date. Can you tell I've missed her?

She caved perhaps in fear that if she didn't I would not leave her alone. And she was probably right. :)

So she met me. I was at a Saddle Club Trade Day, so I had to take Horse home first before we could go out.

After exchanging my Ariets for tennis shoes we head to a local pub for diner and a beer. We sip our beers laughing and enjoying the food and conversation as we catch up on each others lives.

We are sitting at the bar and another girl I know is sitting to my right. She mentions that X was at the pub earlier.

I dismiss her comment. Saying no big deal. We get along, I would say hi if I ran into him.

Girl, "Wow thats really great. I don't know if I could be like that to any of my ex's."

Me, "Awe I'm happy that he and Physco-Bitch (yes this should be her name) are happy and I'm sure he feels the same about Marine and I. We're still on good terms."

"That's good cause their right down there." She points to the other end of the bar.

I stop my beer half way to my mouth. "What? He's here?"

Vivi's starts dying laughing, "Where? Where?" She spots them, "So does all that still apply?"

I blush a little, "yes it does."

We continue to eat. And I ignore the end of the bar where they are seated.

"I haven't been here for almost two damn years, and I'm in town one night..." Vivi laughs.

"Yeah gee thanks, I haven't seen him in about that long," I laugh.

I mean what else can you do but laugh?

We get up to leave. I have convinced myself that I will be the bigger person and that when we pass them, which we have to as we head towards the door, I will say hi - be polite and keep on walking.

As I walk I have my head sideways saying bye to the others at the bar. My head is turned and I am walking. I run smack dab into someone. I mean head hits chest - full blown run in.

I say sorry as I look forward...... and stare directly in the face of my X (he was headed to the bathroom). I literally just ran into him. Not exactly how I expected this whole "we can be friends thing to go".

I apologize say hi, how are you, and keep on walking.

Vivi is trying not to laugh as she to greets him.

You would think we could flee freely now but oh no. A guy friend and his girlfriend have come in and joined X and Physco-Bitch for diner. This guy friend jumps up and meets us. He says hi and then quickly starts talking to Vivi because he also has not seen her in forever. I am left standing there. Physco-Bitch shooting me daggers with her eyes.

I do the only thing I know how to do. I smile, say hi and try to make polite conversation.

Then as soon as Vivi escapes Guy friend we leave. And soon as we are out of sight burst into fits of giggles.

I love Vivi.

We proceed to go to a benefit for Blondie's aunt. Here we meet up with other friends.

This is followed by a late night trip to Waffle House. With three of our other friends and one of the friends mother's. Nothing like a late night trip to Waffle House where friends mother advises said friend how to keep Spanx from getting in the way of sex.

Yes, it did happen.

Friend, "Thank god I had on spanx otherwise I might have been drunk enough to have slept with him!"

Friends mom, "So how did the spanx stop you?"

Friend (so not wanting to have this conversation but has been thrown under the bus by another friend), "Because mother do you really think I could just whip them off right there? I mean hello dad was there!!"

Friends mom, "So? It wasn't like he was right there at your shoulder!"

Friend, "MOM!!"

Completely ignoring her, "You know what you need to do? Just cut you a whole in 'em. That way next time you won't have to worry about it."

She says this dead seriously.

"Oh my gosh!!" I laugh hysterically!

Friend Mom, "What?"

Other friend, " I can't believe you just said that."

Vivi is laughing so hard I think she is going to cry. Friend's face is so red it looks like a stop sign and me and other friend are just laughing.

Friend Mom, "Well I'm just trying to help her get laid!!"

Yes this over hash-browns is quite interesting.

Finally Vivi and I made it back to the house. Yep, I even talked her into staying the night. We had a late night pow-wow. It was great to catch up.

Each of my friends I love for different reasons. They are all special to me in different ways.

Vivi is my all around friend. The one I can cry with, laugh with, and anything else in between. Plus we always have fun!

I hope this summer we can have some more fun times.

So yeah all this happened in about a 6 hour time span. Definitely an interesting night.

Miranda, "Okay, I'm definitely in the slow sexual group if even Charlotte is open to this."
~ Sex and the City ~

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phoebe said...

how funny!! i must admit... in the past 5 or so years... i have never. ever. run into jolly green (or his wife). i've run into every other member of his family... but not him. thankfully!!

besswess said...

I loved this story. It always stinks to run into ex's, but could have been worse.