Monday, April 12, 2010

Grab A Lizard By The Tail

Let me sum up my day Saturday:

1. Dining alone.... interesting.

2. You just haven't lived till you've grabbed a lizard by the tail --- literally.

3. New skill to add to the resume: knows how to put out small forest fires.

That is the highlights. Now for the in-depth version.

Saturday I traveled south to drop off the hellacious office printer (same one as this story) with the printer repair man.

While down that way I decided to meet up with College Girlfriend who has been calling wanting to hang out. So a lunch date was set. I spoke with her Friday and plans were still on.

Well she has one of those crazy city cell phone providers who only has service in weird metro areas. So I assumed she wouldn't have service when coming north to meet me, calling her phone and being sent straight to voice-mail confirmed my hypothetical theory. At least that is what I thought.

I enter the restaurant and ask for a table for two; might as well sit inside and enjoy a beer while I wait.

I wait and wait and wait. I was ten minutes early, she was now 15 minutes late. The waiter is eying me in pity.

Repeated calls all go straight to voice-mail.

Oh what the hell.

The waiter makes his way back over and I go ahead and place my order.

Ever since watching the Friends episode where Rachel debates dining alone, I decided that one day I hoped to have the courage to do so as well. So I added it to the Life List: Eat a meal at a sit down restaurant alone.

That has now been crossed off the list. Despite the fact I was eyed as the "girl who had a make-believe friend coming so it would look as if she weren't eating alone". That or maybe they thought I was stood up.

Me? I couldn't care less. It was actually kinda nice. Peaceful. Relaxing. A moment to just breath. Something I would do again.

From here I head to Vixen's to prepare for the couples shower for Vixen and VB.

VB is the only one there and is blowing leaves out of the driveway with a leaf blower.

I make my way to the gazebo to start arranging chairs and such. I grab a chair and in the process grab a lizard by the tail.

Not sure who freaked out more.

Me or the lizard.

I jump. He jumps.

Except he jumped the wrong way and has now jumped on me. I scream and jump again.

He falls to the ground and in terror runs one way. I do not run but watch as he flees, shaking myself to rid myself of any other unwanted guests. I DO NOT LIKE FOR THINGS TO JUMP AT ME.

If something jumps at me weather it be a lizard, mouse, or any kind of bug - I am going to scream like a little girl. Can't help it. It's like my natural defense mechanism.

I take a deep calming breath and turn around.

To see smoke billowing from the woods beside the house. I look down and see the leaves on fire.... and spreading quickly!

OH Sh*T, Oh SH*T!!!

VB is leaf blowing oblivious to anything.

"VB!!!!!" I scream from where I am above him now standing on the bridge that crosses the waterfall. "VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!"

He continues to blow.

I race down the stairs frantically flailing my arms and screaming his name. As I approach he stops and takes the ipod earphone out of one ear.


His reaction was same as mine.

"OH SH*T!" He drops the leaf blower and Ipod and takes off running, grabbing his rake as he passes the house.

I run down the driveway, unhook the water-hose and start dragging it up the hill. I get to the spicket that is in close proximity to the fire only to be told that it doesn't work.

I drag the hose back down the driveway, hook it back up and turn it on.

I grab the end and once again start running up the driveway.

The hose has about a million holes it.

I am getting soaked.

And the hose has more knots in it than it does holes.

At this point the hose is useless and:

1) it more than likely wouldn't have reached the fire
2) if it did no water would have made it to the fire because it's all coming out the holes!

VB is still raking like a mad man. I rush into the house and start filling up the four pitchers that I had sat out for the party.

Once full I balance the four pitchers running out to throw the water on the burning leaves. I am on about the 4th lap of this when Vixen pulls up.

VB is still raking and between raking and me water racing we have things under control.

But not out.

Vixen takes one look at the situation, walks up the hill and flips a switch that is hidden in the outdoor power box.

Viola the broken spicket works!!

The hose is hooked up, and fire is out.

Vixen stands one hand on her hip eying VB and his melted plastic rake and me and my water splattered attire, "So? What happened?"

I'm clueless so I turn to VB, "Well I must have blown some of the ashes from the burn pile from last night. It was all out. Some of the bottom ashes must have been smoldering. Guess they hit the dry leaves........"

And well we knew the rest.

Vixen shakes her head. VB and I laugh as I tell the story of the discovery and admit that if we would have gotten our reactions on camera we so would have won America's Funniest Home Video.

Other than that the Couples Shower went off without a hitch. Fun night of friends, good BBQ, and some friendly corn hole. Ever played corn hole? Very fun!!

Giggles Fiancée And Blondie's Boyfriend

Somehow we always end up in the bathroom....
This is the goofy picture ~ Notice the dogs face,
I think that pretty much says it all!

Of course we always end up in the bathroom.... not using it but gathered around telling the latest news or gossip. Bathroom confessional so to speak.

Somethings never change.

Thank goodness!

And all of this happened Saturday. Very Eventful day to say the least!

Ross: You can't possibly do this alone.
Rachel: Excuse me?
Ross: Come on, Rach. I mean, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant.
Rachel: What?
Ross: I'm just saying, if you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Ross: When have you ever?
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Ross: Well, certain other people take 2 hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Rachel: Oh, please, you inhale your food!
Ross: I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!
~ Friends ~


One of The Guys said...

I'm exhausted after reading that.

I don't like to be startled either. I was running the other day with my ipod cranked and a squirrel jumped out in front of me, and you know how much squirrels scare me, you should have seen me jump. What a wimp!

My neighbors were burning old branches on Sunday. The flames were high up into the trees. It was scary. They seemed fine with it.

I was like, "Morons!"

Glad you made it through the day!

phoebe said...

what a day!!! i have to admit, i've dined alone a few times, and i actually don't mind it (in other words, i kinda like it, haha). i've gone to local places and there were others that were doing the same thing.

i never heard of corn hole until i went to visit the boy. someone was selling them and i was like 'what is that?!" and he explained to me. he said it's a southern thing :-)

E said...

Haha Phoebe actually I first heard about Corn hole from some friends who lived up north.... but maybe it is a south thing! Who know's :) I'd never heard about it till this past year.