Thursday, April 8, 2010

TMI Thursday ~ The Pink One

Ok..... I can't believe I'm about to do this.

Yes you read it right. I have chosen to participate in my first and probably last TMI Thursday.

Now like everybody, I have more of these stories than you would ever want to know. SO consider this your fair warning ~ if you don't want to know, stop reading now. Come back tomorrow. And those that continue to read; please don't judge me.

At 27 *ahem, ahem*, I mean 26 round 2, I have never owned a personal toy (PT)- my polite way of saying vibrator.

Let's face it, I'm an uptight bitch that:

1) would not have a clue what do it with it if I had one

and

2) I've never needed one

Well let's just focus on the first reason.

Marine being the loving fiancée that he is.... added to his list of things to do before he left - Buy E a PT.

So while up for deployment week we visited an adult store.

You think this would be an easy decision.

In and out.............. (maybe I should have went with a different choice of words).

OMG!! Row, after row of PT's. Different shapes, sizes, colors. You name it.

And Marine has to look at every single one of them determined, despite my embarrassment, to pick out the one that will be perfectly suited for me. Even though he is just as clueless as I am but I refuse to let him ask the salesgirl for help. Which I am nearly sure he would have.

Marine, "Which one do you like?"
Me not really looking, "I don't know..."
"How bout this one?"
A funny look.
"This one?" he tries again.
Another skeptical look...
"Well let's ask and see which one they sell the most of."
"NO!!! This one will work. This one is good."

You get the picture. See told you up tight bitch. That's me.

Finally I take a deep breath and realize that:
1) The lady behind the counter and the sales girl are not secretly taking our picture and posting it online for the world to see.

2) I am in a different state - the chances of running into someone I know is non-existent

3) I need to learn to not be so uptight


So with a deep breath I finally decide to act like the mature 26-round-2-year-old that I am and with my wonderful fiancée embrace this hopefully once in a life time moment.

He has narrowed it down to three. Me knowing nothing about this type of shopping pick the pink one.

Yes I based this decision solely on color.

The other choices were purple and silver. Neither one very eye appealing.

But at the time I told myself that it would never be used anyway -- it would be stashed in my underwear drawer from here to eternity, and it would make Marine happy to think that I would be taken care of during those lonely nights in his absence.

Curiosity however got the best of me. We will just leave it at that.

Like loosing your virginity, the first time is always awkward. Because you really don't know what your doing.

Let's just say I understand why the variety now.


Carrie, "I'm not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device."
Miranda, "You haven't met 'The Rabbit.' "
Samantha, "Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called 'The Horse.'
~ Sex and the City ~

{ This quote cracks me up!! Makes me think of Giggles less famous Quote }

11 comments:

Rachel said...

LMAO! Hope you don't mind but I had to share the link to this with my TMI this week.

http://romancingrachel.blogspot.com/2010/04/tmi-thursday-ladies-do-not-fart.html

Nicole said...

Ha! Oh, it could be worse, trust me... my first time visiting the adult store I walked in, and the creepy guy behind the counter offered me a job working there within 2 minutes.

(I said no, by the way)

And pink is always the way to go if given a choice :)

P said...

My first vibrator (actually my only one, it's broken after several years and I really need to get a new one but haven't gotten around to it) was pink and glittery, so I used to call it PG.

Once you get one, you never look back. :)

carissa said...

Ahhh yes. I've been meaning to buy a new one... I'm thinking of going this route... bahahaha

http://www.grandopening.com/prod_info.php?a=gopening&pnum=CNVOZG-0003

Not Safe For work!

Date Girl said...

Hahaha oh girl. You are way too uptight! ;-) that toy will hopefully help you! I'm glad he talked you into it. My first toy was given to me on my 21st bday and she made me open my present in a bar...surrounded by my friends, girls AND guys. I was ten shades of red. But you know what? I thanked her later. Oh, and mine was pink with cheetah prints. Hehhehehe.

ClevelandPoet said...

first time I went into an adult store was with an old girlfriend and while we were in there her aunt came in...was tooo funny how embarrassed they both got.

phoebe said...

this was hilarious... i bought mine at a toy party... i went with what the most recommended one was... dolphin i think... blue-ish. pearls in the shaft and then a little dolphin thing that does other things. haha. best money i ever spent. hahaha.

Birdie said...

HA! What we'll do to make our Marines feel better:) They really just want to hear you say you will only use that and not another dude!

One of The Guys said...

This is so funny! I can just picture you there.

But you're right. The people working in the store don't care at all. I mean they WORK in one of those stores, ya know?

Enjoy! (Am I allowed to say that??)

I'm still chuckling.... :)

LiLu said...

Awww! What a sweet man you've got there... and that's ALL I'm gonna say. ;-)

miss_kay said...

I'm interested in investing on a rabbit.

Hopefully you PT works well :)