Monday, June 14, 2010

Vixen's Fairytale Wedding

The time had come for yet another wedding weekend. 

Giggles and I met after work Friday to make a stop at the liquor store than to head to Vixen and VB's wedding rehearsal. This was my first time visiting the location and it was beautiful. 

But lets face the facts - Its June. In the south. Which equals hot, , Hot, HOT!

The rehearsal goes by rather quickly and then we head to the outdoor seating area for diner and sweet tea.

This was all fine and dandy but the fun begin when we got back to the cabin we were staying at for the night. We being Vixen and her bridesmaids - myself, Giggles, Blondie, Vivi, LC and Girlfriend. We changed into bathing suits and climbed in the hot tub. At the liquor store Giggles and I had purchased TGI Sex on the Beach (which is a premix with vodka already in it) we also purchased a bottle of vodka to mix with it. Giggles started making the drinks. We sat in the hot tub and told stories, laughed, and sang along with the radio. 

I couldn't tell you what time it was when we decided to call it a night. Nor could I tell you how many drinks that I had had. But I can tell you one thing, when I crawled in bed with Giggles and Vixen I had drank enough they voted to put me on the side closest to the bathroom while taken drunken bets on how long it would take before I made a mad dash to pray to the porcelain gods. 

Vixen and Giggles should know me well enough to know that I can hold my liquor.

I should have known well enough to not let make Giggles mix the drinks. 

And we all should have known better than to drink that much the night the night before the wedding.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda. 

The room was spinning when I went to bed and the next morning I was first awoken to the front door slamming and someone retching of the front porch.

Not exactly what you want to hear first thing in the morning.

As soon as you close the door it automatically locks. Something important that Girlfriend should have remembered. We heard her attempt to turn the turn knob. Giggles climbed out of bed and went to let her in and we all went back to sleep -- trying to get every spare minute that we could before the alarm went off. 

A short time later Giggles and I were awoken to Vixen jumping up and down on the bed yelling, "IT'S MY WEDDING DAY!!!!"

My head is spinning a little but I throw on clothes and the group of us head down to the lodge for breakfast. 

Now here I should state that Girlfriend may be a better friend than I could ever be!! Two weeks ago she tried on her dress and it would hardly zip. Her boyfriend told her (jokingly) that she wasn't going to be able to eat for a week in order to fit into it. Well Girlfriend literally did nearly that. Eating small portions so that she would fit into her dress.

Very little food mixed with ALOT of alcohol was a big mistake on her part. As we sat in the lodge - surrounded by a large church group I might add - Girlfriend takes a bite of some fruit and sips on some Sprite. A minute later she jumps up and runs out the door. We all look after her but none of us move. 

Somethings are better done alone.

At this point the church group gets up and heads outside.

Girlfriend appears a few minutes later... "So I'm puking behind the car when the entire restaurant decides to come outside." She does a blushing smug smile, "Pretty sure that secured my place in hell."


After breakfast it was time for our bridesmaids gifts. Vixen had arranged for massages. A WONDERFUL gift.

She had a line up and we went in order and once done begin the long beautification process. And then it was time to head to the site and start getting our dresses on. For 8 bridesmaids and 1 bride in one small bridal suite I think we did rather well.

Vixen was stunning and her dress may as well have made especially for her. She was absolutely beautiful. 

Everything went smoothly and despite the rumors of it being the hottest day of the year it was still a beautiful wedding. 

Now as Maid of Honor I tried to ensure that things went smoothly. This meant that when the wedding bands were lost by the photographer (well perhaps misplaced is a better word) I was able to track them down without anyone being the wiser. When the best man popped a button off his tux jacket I was quick to snatch the jacket and button and find a safety pin and fix it so it looked good as new. When the Grandparent memory frame was floating around and no one knowing what to do with it, I tracked down the coordinator and told her where to place it. 

While I was taking care of these small details the other bridesmaids were helping Vixen to get ready and also putting out small fires of there own when we discovered one bridesmaid's had a bustle ripped on her dress.

To all of this Vixen was never the wiser.

Now remember Little Man, Hollywood's son. He was the ring bearer for the day. Before leaving him in my charge Hollywood promised if he behaved and did a good job she would take him and let him pick out a new toy. Little Man's Nana added to this saying she would also take him to the tack store to pick out something new for his pony.

Yes, bribing a two year old.

The time has arrived and it is time for the bridesmaids to line up outside. I hold Little Man's hand and we walk across the yard. I keep a tight hold on him because I know Little Man and I know as soon as I release his hand he will do what any two year old little boy would do ------ run across the yard with wild abandonment. 

I show him how to hold his pillow and I carefully explain to him that he will not walk down the aisle with me, but that he will follow me. "Understood?"

He shakes his little head yes, "Can I get a firetruck?"

He may be two but he is no fool.

"You mom said you could pick out a toy if you do good... but you gotta ask her," I reply.

He thinks about this for a minute. "A Mater truck?" 

"You'll have to ask your mom but I'm sure if you do good she will let you get a Mater truck."

We walk forward as another bridesmaid has started her walk to the ceremony site.

"I want the firetruck," He states.

"Ok well make sure you do good so you can get one," I tell him. "Show me how you're going to hold your pillow."

He holds his little pillow up smiling at me proudly.

Yeah this is not going to go well. Finally it is almost my turn. The coordinator is standing telling the next girl to go. "Little Man stand right here until its your turn." I say to him and then turn to coordinator, "You may want to hold his hand....he's a bit of a flight risk."

Vixen's sister snickers at this and then she begins her walk. It is now my turn and I head down the aisle. VB looks handsome and it is obvious how excited he is to be marrying Vixen.

Little Man and the Flower Girl make it down the aisle. Things are good. Vixen appears with her father and the head down the aisle where her father gives her away.

Little Man is standing beside me. I am now holding my bouquet and Vixen's bouquet in one hand and my other hand has a light grip on Little Man's shoulder.

All of a sudden he goes to make a run for it. I catch him the arm and his forward movement matched with my firm grasp sends him falling backward. 

I can't catch him.

He falls at my feet and is now looking up at me. 

The preacher has begun to pray and when I see the look on Little Man's face I start saying my own silent prayer that he won't scream.

"Little Man I am so sorry!!" I whisper as I pull him to his feet.

He never breaks eye contact with me. He holds up his fingers, "Two firetrucks."

"Ok you stand here beside me and do good and you get two firetrucks."

Yep, I had just been swindled.

The rest of the ceremony goes fine and then it's back down the aisle. We pose for pictures and then head inside for the reception.

The food was wonderful!! Best wedding food I have ever had. Hands down.

The cake looked like it had been taken straight from the pages of Modern Bride. Just like the rest of the day, it was perfect and exactly what Vixen had wanted.

But with every wedding day something must go wrong. The air conditioning in the reception hall was not working and given the formal attire and the hot humidity everyone was sweating. 

Trying to make the best of the situation the windows were thrown up and I tried to encourage people to dance. 

All the bridesmaids danced (trying to help Vixen think she had gotten her money's worth out of the DJ) and occasionally were able to con other friends into joining them on the dance but it was so hot that most remained seated. 

Before the cake cutting I stood and gave my speech. 

I was nervous as all get out but it went well and everybody even laughed at my jokes. 

To top the night off I also caught the bouquet.

Lily: [about throwing the wedding bouquet] It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, "Crawl for it, bitches!" It's just what girls do.
~ How I Met Your Mother ~


Date Girl said...

Sounds like it all went smoothly. Though I don't understand why she'd want a summer wedding in the South! That's such a bummer that the AC broke. But it sounds like you guys made lemonade out of lemons!

phoebe said...

everything sounds like it turned out beautiful!!! what did your dress look like? beautiful cake :-) was it as yummy as it looked?

Vivi said...

Seriously smooth? We were not at the same wedding. I fixed five of the 8 of our bustles in our dresses, told off some girl Vixen works with, did not have a glass when we sat down at the reception, had a TICK on me during the ceremony and could not breath because of the 'ladies.' Smooth is not a word I would use, I might say it went okay as far as the bride knew. Oh, and I slept in the gas chamber. Maybe I should write my own version of the weekend.