Thursday, June 16, 2011

Date Girl's Wedding Day Jitters

Ok anyone having problems with Blogger? I just realized that several posts I had scheduled to "post" during wedding week and honeymoon week never posted!!! How frustrating is that?!?!?!?!?! Here is a guest post that should have posted on May 16th from my lovely friend Date Girl. So sorry Date Girl!!!!


While the lovely E is away on her honeymoon ( I didn't get one so I will try not to pout too much, lucky biatch, hehe) she asked me to share with you a story from my wedding last year. 



This is just a little advice for all you modest brides out there about how to tinkle in your wedding dress. 


The first time I had to pee in the dress I was mortified. I hadn't had a chance to consume enough champagne to get over my paralyzing fear of peeing in front of others. I am not the kind of girl who can undress easily in front of other women, and I am NOT the kind of girl who can accompany her girlfriends to the potty. It used to be worse. I used to have to turn on the faucet in the bathroom so people in the next room wouldn't hear me pee. I know, I'm slightly neurotic.
While getting into the dress, I knew I would have to be in just my panties and my "chicken cutlets". That is what I called my stick on bra that was there in case of a wardrobe malfunction. While I was standing there ready to step in the girls were laughing at me because I just kept saying, "This is my nightmare!" I'm modest what can I say? 


chickencutlets.jpg




You can imagine that as awkward as I felt getting into the dress in front of others, that going tinkle was going to be traumatizing. So there I was, knowing I would need friends to help me hold my dress so I wouldn't get toilet water on it. Toilet water on your dress = not at all classy. What was I to do? So first I asked them to look away. But I was still pee shy and wouldn't you know it? I couldn't go. So I asked them to hum or sing loudly. This started the biggest giggle fest of the afternoon and I'm pretty sure terrified a girl who came in to use the restroom. 


The subsequent trips to the bathroom got a little easier  because a. I had more to drink and started to loosen up, and b. mostly because the girls knew the drill. They would immediately look away and start humming at the top of their lungs. And that ladies, is how pee shy girls do their business on the big day. You're welcome! 

2 comments:

Date Girl said...

lol, I was wondering when you were going to post this bad boy. My chicken cutlet picture didn't come through, but the fact that the jpg says chicken cutlets just cracks me up. Thanks for helping me cross something off my project 52!

Meghan said...

This "Peeing stuff" is good advice. I had NO idea what to do when I needed to pee in my wedding gown. I think I just lifted up my beautiful dress,twisted it & scrunched it in my hands & peed, when I got married - which WAS a long time ago. You young people come up with the best ideas. ;-) I'll remember this for my next wedding.