Thursday, December 31, 2015


Dear 2015,

Looking back you were a year of decisions and blessings all the while revolving around family.

You started off with so much snow. Snow. Snow. Snow.

I wasn't sure why so much snow. And then one day it became clear. I always knew what my priorities were. I knew what was most important. Yet, for some stupid reason it took all that snow for me to do something about it.

It was that melting snow that busted the damn and words spewed from my mouth I may have never had the courage to say. Yes, the words came with anger. But the words were true. I stood up for myself along with 20 of my co-workers / friends. I turned in my resignation and when begged to stay I didn't back down.

I held my head high, I worked a notice... a longer notice than most would have. I know they hoped I would change my mind. But I didn't.

And thank goodness I didn't. As of April I was officially a stay at home mom. I was and am still thankful for my wonderful husband. He continues to work to make my dreams come true.

In March Maddie turned 3. Wow how the time has flown, dear friend. I am so thankful to you for each day.

You are also the year that has taught me that no matter the age Divorce is never pretty. Who would have thought my remarried Granddaddy would be getting a divorce in his 80s. But when money and health are involved no one seems to think soundly. I love them both and refuse to be in the middle. I only hope 2016 will continue to assist me in this as you have dear 2015.

2015, looking back I had my doubts on more than one occasion. But you were also a year of faith. Faith that each decision we made would be the right one.

And oh so many decisions that were made! Becoming a one income family being the first of the road of decisions...

The decision to buy a camper, the decision to run an Etsy Store, the decision to forgive a family member, the decision to add more animals to our small farm, the decision to take a leap and purchase property with family, the decision to sell the family business.

Yes, 2015 you were a year of decisions, changes and most importantly faith.

The camper.... oh when Marine suggested a pop up camper I had my doubts. But oh the fun we had in it this year! The memories made will never be forgotten.

I, independent and, like having my own money. I have had the Etsy store since 2014 but with quitting my job it was like it was confirmation I had done the right thing. In April my sales tripled to my amazement. It gave me the courage to do what I love. Design. Plus it works perfect with the stay at home mom of a demanding 3 year old schedule. Thank you again 2015 for allowing me to follow my dreams!

Possible the biggest decision of 2015 came as a family meeting. We were going to sell the restaurant that Marine and his Step Dad opened in 2011. With Brother In Law getting out of the Army and joining as a partner it was to much family stress. And we always said that family would come first. It was such a hard, bittersweet decision that required much prayer and faith. It was not my place to select the buyer. But from day 1 in my gut I knew from the prospective buyers who I wanted to run the restaurant. And thankfully it worked out. I hope they will love and cherish it as much as we have! I also hope that it will continue to be successful and will continue to be a staple in our community!

2015 I owe you so many thank yous. You were also the year that Marine admitted he has PTSD and made the decision to seek help. I have known Marine has PTSD. Heck the award he received that I have hanging on the wall clearly supports what I have known. Yet he has always been strong saying others saw more action than he did. He is fine. After awhile I let it go and learned ways to deal and cope with it and to notice the signs and trigger points. It has been 5 long years and I would never have guessed that a movie would have had such an impact on our lives. Yet it did. American Sniper. Several scenes hit close to home. The birthday party scene with the dog, the driving down the road while always scanning for IEDS. And the words that she said that I, like probably many other military wives, have said "You're here but your not here."

After getting home from that movie we stayed up for hours. Marine talked about Afghanistan more than he ever has. He talked of the day he saved a fellow Marine's life. Of another day lying in a ditch hearing bullets whizzing overhead as he and two others rock-paper-scissored over the order they were going to get out of the ditch to run back to the safety of the building behind them. He laughed at some of the funny memories and shed a few tears at some of the harder ones. And for the first time he apologized and said I was right he had PTSD and had been to proud to see it.

He made the first effort to get help. We have always known we have one of the worst VA's in the country but this year also proved it. But with determination and my continued support Marine was finally able to get the help he needed and our marriage is better than it has ever been. He is getting back to the care free Marine I feel in love with all those years ago.

I thank you so much for that 2015.

You have brought so much joy 2015! Each day with Maddie has been an adventure! I wish that time would slow down. Each day she is a little smarter, a little taller, a little more independent, and little less my little baby and a little more my little girl. In August when she started "school" (aka mothers morning out) she was such the big girl. Never shedding a tear.

Then yesterday we closed on our small piece of heaven. Mountain property with a view and a creek. It was a joint purchase with family with the intention of it being a family getaway and for the guys a hunting land.. Being located in the neighboring county it is close enough we can for the day or for a couple of hours. We are so excited for what 2016 holds and this new adventure.

What a year around the sun it has been 2015!

Tonight we will ring in the new year with a new family being forged as we attend the wedding of Red. What better way to end the year of family and love.

Cheers to you 2015! Thank you for the memories!

Love Always!

Past Letters: 201220102009 and 2008

1 comment:

R said...

What a beautiful way to remember the year. So happy to hear that the MR is actively seeking help for things. In the past year I've watched a much too high percentage of my boot camp division falter in their careers because of being afraid to ask for help when they need it. It's heartbreaking.

Hope 2016 is everything you hope for.